Saturday, December 8, 2007

Boomerang woman and mouse hand

It’s time that Kitty took a bow. She was very upset by the arrival of Porridge just over a year ago, and showed her disapproval by spraying all over the piano keyboard (luckily it was shut for once). She knows how to hit me where it hurts. I had always thought that only male cats spray, but it seems that when a girl gets really annoyed, anything can happen, so watch out men everywhere.
Porridge still chases her round the garden in the spirit of fun, which Kitty naturally resents, so she lurks on the kitchen chairs just under the table and slashes at P’s eyes whenever she gets the chance. She will have a go at any part of P that happens to be in range, but P never notices because of her thick fur coat. In fact, they both behave so much like a cartoon, that I wonder whether Jerry the mouse is somewhere in the wainscoting, lying down on his tiny matchbox bed with his legs comfortably crossed, peering out through the black arch of a mouse hole, making ironic asides to the camera.

Talking of mice, it is the time of year when we suffer from a phenomenon called “mouse hand” in our house. The symptoms affect all human members of the family, but I have never seen the syndrome described in any medical research paper. We are all right handed, and I suspect that the symptoms would be reversed for a left handed sufferer. The condition is manifested by an alarming difference in temperature between a freezing cold right hand and a comfortably warm left hand.

I am convinced that it is caused by jamming the left hand between the thighs whilst working on a computer in a cold office, thereby leaving the poor exposed right hand to type and hold the mouse. Please feel free to add to the body of research that I am amassing on the subject.

You may have listened to the annoying little waltz that in my OCD way, I was forced to liberate into cyberspace from here. It seems to have let on to the other seething mass of melodies that torture me daily that there is a way out. I have been pestered by another one lately that seems to be evolving into a song and demanding words. So stay tuned for an annoying little song.

Time to go and transport some more teenagers in and out of town.
Three times today… so far.
Forget hedgehog woman, meet boomerang woman

1 comment:

hexe said...

I have not yet entered the booerang phase but have heard of it. I hope to find it slightly better than then temper tantrum stage which "we" seemed to be in today.