I have just emerged from a session with my autistic musicians, and I have realised the obvious… finally. Their participation and enjoyment corresponds exactly with the energy and pleasure that I put into our time together.
Two weeks ago, I was swinging towards the bottom half of the bipolarimeter and this was reflected in my performance. I was going down the left hand side not the right. The self doubt monologue was there, the not letting go, the glass wall between me and the world. I was static and stuck.
This week, the light was on and shining out of me like a beacon. Energy and improvisation were flowing, my voice spun and sparkled and trilled and surprised and every improvised melody touched someone somewhere or other in a place that made them smile…
Sometimes I wish desperately for a more balanced life, with fewer extremes…but then I would miss these moments, wouldn’t I?
Two weeks ago, I was swinging towards the bottom half of the bipolarimeter and this was reflected in my performance. I was going down the left hand side not the right. The self doubt monologue was there, the not letting go, the glass wall between me and the world. I was static and stuck.
This week, the light was on and shining out of me like a beacon. Energy and improvisation were flowing, my voice spun and sparkled and trilled and surprised and every improvised melody touched someone somewhere or other in a place that made them smile…
Sometimes I wish desperately for a more balanced life, with fewer extremes…but then I would miss these moments, wouldn’t I?
Here is my meter reading for today...
Posts
