What an idiot I am! I don't know one week from another.
I have just driven 90 kilometres to an afternoon rehearsal that will take place on the same day next week. And the concert is next Friday, not this Friday!
So then I drove 90 kilometres back again. Still the sun was shining...
I was with my autist students this morning.
As I come to know the staff working there, and they have more confidence in me, I start to see that they have only left me alone with the students who are the easiest to deal with.
At the meeting room, where I collect my teams, there is a boy that everyone tries not to leave unsupervised with the others. He has a smile on his face most of the time, and it is with a simple enjoyment that he bullies the other students if given the slightest opportunity. I tell myself that it is not his fault any more than the problems that the others have are their fault.
There is a girl who will head-but the other students, or bite them, if she can. Neither of these two has any speech. Two weeks ago the girl heard the harmonium through the wall and was fascinated. She came to hear it and terrified the boy with red hair. He froze, unable to cope and before I could blink the girl rushed over and hit him expertly on the forehead with her own head.
I removed her quickly from the room and the boy with the red hair relaxed again.
Afterwards, I heard a carer say "defend yourself!" to him, but they did not say how, (or , to be fair, perhaps I did not hear the rest.)
When I see him in the meeting room he always seems to be a target for the other two.
Last week, the boy with the red hair was forbidden music again as a punishment. He had behaved badly in the cooking class just before, and he had pinched the carer leaving a big bruise.
I wondered to myself if he was learning to defend himself and hadn't quite got it right...
I no longer have any simple certainties about crime and punishment and responsibility, that were so comforting in my youth....
5 days ago