I have found myself feeling low and reflective the last few days. Thinking about where I am and where I would like to be. The nest is emptying and the excuses for inaction are disappearing.
I am left with a lump in my chest which feels a lot like grief.
This must be freedom then.
From responsibilites and ties.
I have heard people talk about their children leaving home and how traumatic it is…and yeah, yeah, so what…how bad can that be?
I have never been a particularly “hands on” Mum, poking her nose into every aspect of my children’s development.
I like to think of myself as more of a “let well enough alone” sort of Mum.
A light touch now and again to guide.
And the occasional bout of ferocious shouting…
I have been lucky. Neither of them have had any real problems. All they needed was space to grow and bloom. And they have.
It has been the most wonderful journey, watching them change from those seeds full of potential to complex characters with fascinating bits of me and him woven seamlessly into the new and unexpected.
And that, I realise now, is what I will miss the most.
A ringside seat.
To watch the greatest show on earth.
A new person growing, changing, fulfilling their potential, and becoming themselves.
Oh well…I still have the chickens…
4 days ago