Darling daughter has gone on holiday for a few days, but before she went she brought the plague into the house...
Yes...A Summer cold.
That's what happens when you swim in the sea ...at midnight...
She said that's what she did.
It must have been waiting for her in the sea.
It has invaded my singing mucous membranes and made me even more neurotic than usual.
I have only 6 days to recover before I have to sing a concert. Well, a bar...opposite a camp site.
Maybe they wont notice.
I'm going downstairs to wrap myself in a blanket and drink whisky and hot water in front of Richard and Judy who will probably advise me on my reading list. I might not be able to hear their recommendations owing to the baying of Porridge's suitors.
She is still on heat and we are under seige.
They have breached the exterior perimeter wall.
There is one that is even bigger whiter and hairier than Porridge herself which is capable of jumping over the wall effortlessly. She sits at the french windows, like Lorelei, fancying him, and whimpering seductively.
My Sweet goes and chases him back out again every so often. Her hero...
4 days ago