Guitar blues

Well, I have rehearsed singing “Bonjour” about 100 times over several supposedly easy chord changes on the guitar, and my finger tips have swollen to the point that each finger looks rather like a carrot, with fingernails where the green frondy bit should be.
This is in spite of cheating and tuning the guitar to D. That way I don’t have to clutch at it desperately, and merely have to hold one string down at a time in a ladylike sort of way or bottle across the lot! The teacher that I watched last week did this, and I have tried to copy her. She is very pregnant, and so she put the guitar on its back on her lap. I seem to have gone up 6 bra sizes since I last held a guitar and so I am obliged to do the same or I can’t get near it at all. I’m sure I’ve seen Dolly Parton play guitar. How on earth does she do it? Maybe my breasts have fallen with age…
The guitar belongs to my sweet H and he bought it in New York. It is a very fine acoustic Takamine but is unfortunately strung with the most vicious macho set of steel strings that I have ever had the misfortune to touch. He must have fingertips like the hooves on a horse. (See, he has only been gone two days and I’ve already forgotten…)
Imagine putting your fingers in this:



I am starting to think it might be a good idea to take my piano after all, even though it is for stage and has no built in speaker. After all it doesn’t weigh that much, and then there is the sound system with the mixing desk and the amp and the speakers and oh alright, yes it would be stupid…

AAArgh. Yes, I am fussing and nervous and excited. At last a public who will be forced to listen to me whether they want to or not!

I found some pig trotters in our over filled freezer and threw them out. He will never notice…