I have just emerged from a session with my autistic musicians, and I have realised the obvious… finally. Their participation and enjoyment corresponds exactly with the energy and pleasure that I put into our time together.
Two weeks ago, I was swinging towards the bottom half of the bipolarimeter and this was reflected in my performance. I was going down the left hand side not the right. The self doubt monologue was there, the not letting go, the glass wall between me and the world. I was static and stuck.
This week, the light was on and shining out of me like a beacon. Energy and improvisation were flowing, my voice spun and sparkled and trilled and surprised and every improvised melody touched someone somewhere or other in a place that made them smile…
Sometimes I wish desperately for a more balanced life, with fewer extremes…but then I would miss these moments, wouldn’t I?
Two weeks ago, I was swinging towards the bottom half of the bipolarimeter and this was reflected in my performance. I was going down the left hand side not the right. The self doubt monologue was there, the not letting go, the glass wall between me and the world. I was static and stuck.
This week, the light was on and shining out of me like a beacon. Energy and improvisation were flowing, my voice spun and sparkled and trilled and surprised and every improvised melody touched someone somewhere or other in a place that made them smile…
Sometimes I wish desperately for a more balanced life, with fewer extremes…but then I would miss these moments, wouldn’t I?
Here is my meter reading for today...
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4 comments:
I saw a documentary report the other evening about Manu Chao making music with patients in a psychiatric hospital in Buenos Aires, and thought of you. Videoclip: Manu Chao - "Rainin in Paradize", by Kusturica :: Chango's Videos :: RADIOCHANGO
yay...anything is possible eh?
It is interesting that most people's moods influence those around them. In the domestic situation, it mostly swings to the mother, if there are children in the family.
If not, the mother gets to be "Piggy in the middle" trying to balance it all out, & keep an even keel.
Meggie , I have noticed this before in a concert situation. If I feel really good, it is transmitted to the audience who feed it back to me and we get higher and higher together. But there are more people then, often in the dark, and you cant see the "whites of their eyes" in the same way that I can with my autists where we are few in a small room. There the effect is very dramtic in terms of the difference in response to me on a good day and a bad!
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