Tuesday, November 1, 2011

The Detective Story

I went to see my liver consultant yesterday.

It was rather like a consultation with Hercule Poirot, (someone I have been spending time with while convalescing). By the way, what do you do when you have seen every episode? I suppose a full recovery is the only option, or madness would set in. Or perhaps you know you are well when you notice that you have seen the episode before, and actually care.

Anyway, to get back to my own consultant detective;
He looked at my test results and ummed and ahed and patiently listened to me tell him that I had asked Monsieur Google and could find nobody in the whole world with my symptoms after a simple surgery for gall bladder removal. Then we tried to piece together exactly what had happened to me from the moment I started to feel ill and was admitted to hospital as an emergency.
He found a test result lurking on the computer which I did not have in my fat file. This was the result of my first liver test when I went to hospital, which showed no damage, unlike all the subsequent ones. But then I spent five days in hospital being pumped intravenously with an antibiotic that can be toxic to the liver, because they thought that I had diverticulosis. And a fair amount of paracetamol, because everything hurt...

He scratched his head, and thought for a while.

You may have been damaged by the antibiotic!, he said dramatically.
We will follow this trail!
But first, we must eliminate everything else!

He would have twirled his moustaches at this point, but he didn't have any.
So, instead, he started writing out a prescription for a blood test which will remove at least two arms' worth and maybe even empty a leg.

Just to change the subject, other peoples' illnesses being tedious, my relationship with Porridge has suffered after our unavoidable visit to England, when she was left guarding the house, with visits from neighbours to interrupt her vigil in the garden.
She is not speaking to me. That is not entirely true. She is speaking loud and clear.
Nearly every morning since our return, we have woken up to find a large smelly comment under the table in the living room. She has never done this before. I hope she will forgive me soon...
She certainly knows how to hit where it hurts.


jane sutherland said...

last night - being hallowe'en, there was a Poirot 'special' on UK television (ITV) - screenplay by mark Gatis of 'league of gentleman' fame. This would give you a never seen before opportunity! I have only just found your blog, but really hope that your recovery speeds along. I'm very much enjoying sharing your life in Brittany - thank you.
Best wishes,

Zhoen said...

I would put the Rumpole series on the rotation, if it were me.

Livers can suffer under the onslaught of antibiosis. Poor liver.

Rosie said...

Hi Jane, I will look forward to the new one...
Zhoen I am also fond of Rumpole. The series is often available on the bbc radio iplayer (you can listen there even when not in the UK) I have moved on to Startrek because I am a total fan of Patrick Stewart who brings class to anything he stars in (and also looks a bit like my Uncle Gil)
Lucy has lent me Tom's box set of Inspector Morse, but I dont know the titles and so far, each one I've tried, i have seen before.
It is 5 am and I am going downstairs to see if I can catch Porridge in the act...

julia said...

the liver can recover, yes? I hope so. Meanwhile I recommend Spooks. And for those in England the series 'Four In A Bed'. An excellent insight into the real world of the B&B!

Lucy said...

What an onslaught of awful things are happening to you. Hope dog housetraining and normal liver functioning resumes shortly.

Rosie said...

Lucy porridge seems to have relented. Last night was OK!

Meggie said...

I am for surgery tomorrow, so I hope little Honey doesn't take it out on me. I am having a knee replacement, so getting under tables would never happen!
Do hope they sort out your problems.