Porridge is not really called Porridge. It is one of many nicknames she has, depending on my mood. Shithead is another quite popular one ... I dont know how she feels about it. I dont get quite so angry with her now when she rolls in manure, after the vet told me that she was simply trying to protect herself from bears by trying to smell like a different creature.
Why bears? And dont bears eat pigs as well as golden retrievers?
Her real name is Foxy Lady Noroy du Plessy and she is from Belgium with a promising pointy pedigree full of international dog show champions. Ever since her career as a supermodel was compromised by her nose turning pink and her toes turning in, I have tried to suppress my yearnings for a shiny cup.
But I cant fight it.
I must have one.
We have a new granite mantlepiece and it is empty.
For the last two years we have shivered on cliff tops in all weathers and been shouted at by socially inept dog trainers. And tomorrow is the moment of truth. She will try to obtain her brevet at a pistage competition.
Her very first one.
At last she is ready.
She is now able to approach a flag and lie down off the lead while someone fires a gun in the air to try and frighten her (and me). Then I will stand between two flags and send her off unaccompanied to follow a scent for 300 yards, find a tiny object, bring it back to me immediately without leaving the least chew mark on it, without dropping it and finally sitting before me and giving it into my hand on command without dropping it. There is a lot of not dropping it required.
Yes she is ready.
I'll just set the alarm for 5.30am
12 hours ago