Technological Rage

I need to phone the vet. It is time for Porridge’s rabies injections (le rage we call it in France)

Ok… we have one phone line that we use for out going calls via our internet line. And another incoming line with a built in answer phone that receives calls. Each with their associated equipment.

Sometimes, who knows how, people who don’t have our incoming phone number call us up on the out line. There must be an Orange directory somewhere, because I don’t even know what the number is so they certainly didn’t get it from me. If they are lucky, I am in the office and I pick up the phone. If not, this service seductively suggests that they leave a message in my Orange voicemail…which I can’t access because of a bug in all the computers in the house which means I cannot directly access anything on Orange without reloading all the software, which is dangerous because even more things might stop working. I must use Outlook for my Orange (Wanadoo) emails.
Sometimes people actually manage to call us on the correct number, the answer phone takes the message, but it is often impossible to decipher because there is so much background hissing. This is just as bad, because in both situations, they think they have left a message but they haven’t…

I call a number out…on the outline. I am able to do this because it is a number in France and we can call as many as we like with no extra charge. Should I wish to call another country, I have to do it on the incoming line and I am charged the price of a spaceship journey to the moon.
It is engaged. I check the live box. Sometimes the connection goes down and the little light flashes. No, it really is engaged. I type the number in again, three times running. Each time the same result.

I look at the phone with all its sophisticated facilities and wish I knew how to do the one thing that I really need to do…get it to save the number so that I can redial it.

After six tries I look for the manual. It can’t be that difficult. I find the manual. It is 40 pages long… in each language, French, Spanish and Portuguese. My French is marginally better than the other two so I study it for half an hour ten minutes, and find the appropriate section.

I twiddle with the handset for a while, and then something strikes me.

There is a disparity between the manual, which expects an answer phone, and the phone…which doesn’t have one.

Ah I have the manual for the phone on the incoming line. And I can’t find the other out going phone manual.

I go and have a cup of coffee and wish there was a vaccination for my rage.