Monday, May 5, 2008

Two Peas ...

...in a pod?
Well, brother and sister anyway.

It has been a strange spectator sport for me, watching a relationship develop between siblings...because I never had any. We only children are supposed to be a bit peculiar (or so my sweet H says), because we are used to being on our own, playing on our own, spending hours without speaking, being self sufficient. Whereas I think that all of you, with your sibling rivalry, social skills and interdependency, are rather odd and difficult to understand.

Why does my sweet H love talking so much? Sometimes he follows me from room to room, unwilling to stop the flow. Is it some hangover from sibling competition when he couldnt get a word in? He is one of six children, and the second youngest, so I somehow imagine them all in a little nest tweeting loudly to be heard.

You need siblings to learn vital life skills like how to avoid washing up. My technique is unpolished and involves disappearing upstairs to my computer. But the dishes are patient and they will wait for me. I don't mind, at least I don't have to cook...I can, but there is usually something I would prefer to be doing...on my own.

But most importantly, I think that siblings teach you to argue properly and to stand up for yourself in the Machiavellian plotting that underpins everyday family life. Now, my sweet H tells me that I am only too good at standing up for myself, but I think that must be part of the arguing technique he learnt in his nest...

What do you think? Are you a sibling?

16 comments:

Dr.John said...

I am but I tried to give my sister away when she was born.

amy said...

Love this photo! What great kids and obviously they have the perfect relationship.I bet they never even fight or argue?! I have four brothers and prayed for a sister for years but now I realize how lucky I am, my brothers and I are so close.

Mrs. Chili said...

I am a sibling. My sister and I grew up in an abusive and complicated home, and we didn't discover that we had an ally in each other until we were well into our 20s. I regret not having that time back.

Our relationship is complex and, at times, difficult (or, at least, it has been in the past - we're getting better as we age). I'm so grateful I have her, though; she confirms a lot for me, and there is much I don't have to explain when I'm with her, because she's been through it with me and understands....

Rosie said...

mmm I am not sure whether I am jealous of you having siblings or not...you see, we only children never learned to be jealous...

Ms Mac said...

I am an oldest child (of three) and I am married to an oldest child (of two). We kind of understand each other but at the same time we fight for top dog posi all the time!

Life is never dull!

Actually, that thing about top dog posi sounds a bit rude. I didn't mean it that way. Honest!

Lesley said...

I swore that I wouldn't keep in touch with my brother after I left home - but I do. He's actually all right. So my two will probably start to like each other in, well let's see, oh about fifteen years' time.

Leslie: said...

I'm the middle daughter of 3 girls. My older and younger sisters were both bossy so I learned to become the quiet, good girl. (Not so much now, though) I think I just learned to survive in a household where our father was abusive and controlling and our mother was quiet and submissive. My sisters and I all lead very different lives and since our parents have now both died, we don't see each other much. I guess they were all we had in common. I am hoping, though, that my own two daughters will have a good relationship now that they're both adults.

hexe said...

Lovely children! I am the oldest- my sister and I are very close but my brother and I have a very strained relationship. I didn't expect that there would be a time where I didn't have a relationship, but over time I have come to realize that a relationship requires efforts by both people. Maybe in the future . . .

Omykiss said...

I have a sister whom, sadly, I never really got to know that well ... I left home when I was about 20 .. she was still growing up ... and after that we met rarely. Now, with the wonders of technology (email and stuff) we are more in touch ... better late than never, I guess.

Like you, I have enjoyed watching my two kids grow up together ... now that they're over the so-called awkward teenage years they seem to get along rather well. I'm happy ....

Mike said...

There is 8 years difference between me and my sister. We really don't know each other very well. Interestingly enough, there's almost 8 years difference between each of my 3 kids and they seem very close. There was a time when they weren't, but now they are.

It's kind of nice to see.

Rosie said...

well thank you everyone for your intimate family details. I'm not sure that I see any pattern emerging though! Except that some of you have nice siblings, some of you don't, and just because you hated each other as children, you dont necessarily hate each other now...but some of you do...Sounds a bit risky to me and it was just as well to be the only one.

I see that I am unique in every sense since everyone so far is one of a batch. I expect all the only children are too busy doing something on their own to comment...

katydidnot said...

your children are beautiful (brilliant too, i'm sure). i am the youngest of five, it taught me how to be spoiled. rotten. boo-yah. also? couldn't survive without them.

Anonymous said...

thanks mum, for the HORRIBLE photograph!!!

rhaaaa!

I always thought I was a "little" better looking....

:(

meggie said...

I am an eldest sibling. I have been told, to my undying shame, that I once told someone that my brother was put on this earth to do my bidding. I hate this. I have no memory of saying this, & can't believe I was such a sh*t!
We are best mates now, though, & I love my brother dearly. We infuriate family, by speaking a sort of secret shorthand.

I hope your children have this special bond. I am sure they will.

Lucy said...

Little Drummer Boy's lovely! So's daughter but I'd seen her already.

I was youngest of six but fairly introvert, I think that's just something you come in with. The other thing was I wasn't too good at making my way in the world because our family was a complete society in itself by the time I came along,and we didn't have a lot to do with the outside world, and everyone had already done everything first, so I didn't make much effort to push myself, and no one much bothered to do it for me, I was a bit overlooked. That sounds self-piteous, but I was very happy and quite spoiled, just an eternal baby, and rather lazy.

The brother closest to me in age I have the least to do with, he was an oddity anyway, very brainy and rather distant, though a perfectly good sort. The older ones I'm closer too.

Rosie said...

Meggie and Lucy, thank you for your sibling tales. I still have yet to meet another "only"...I had better start blogging in Chinese.