Sunday, May 25, 2008

Mother's Day in EUROLAND

It is Mother’s day in France, and I was pampered and fussed over with a delightful breakfast in bed (a bit light on the bacon, but we can’t have everything). This was duly photographed, as is the way of bloggers, and then it was discovered that “someone” had left the connecting cable at his theatre office and the photo is stuck on the camera.
But a little thing like that did not spoil my good humour, nor did having to wash up the remains of a messy salmon dinner from last night...nor did the fact that I have quite a serious hangover…

Because, last night, we watched the Eurovision Song Contest, and I can’t remember enjoying myself so much for a long time. For those of you non Europeans, this is a ludicrous song contest where kitch European artists sing dreadful songs in appalling costumes and every country votes for their nearest neighbours. The UK always comes last, and Russia has divided itself into 90 new countries just so that they could all vote for it. (It worked, and they won!)
You will have gathered from the fact that Russia, Turkey and Isreal competed, the word "Europe" means anywhere that isn’t America…


We hit upon the one and only best way of watching it. A party with the following rules:

Every time :
1 a commentator mentions the word Europe…take a sip of your drink
2 a wind machine starts up …take a sip of your drink
3 fireworks go off on stage…take a sip of your drink
4 special costumes appear…take a sip of your drink (two sips if there are feathers…)
5 an article of clothing is removed…take a sip of your drink
6 leather trousers appear…take a sip of your drink
7 smoke machine is turned on…take a sip of your drink
8 a key change in the song…take a sip of your drink
9 dancers appear who look like eastern European sex workers…take a sip of your drink(two sips if there are thongs)

I shall be doing it again next year…

I have to admit that a very long time ago, I auditioned to represent the UK, got accepted, and walked before the contest because they tried to make me look like a barmaid and I realised that what small career I might have would be ruined…dont tell anyone...

14 comments:

Mrs. Chili said...

YOU are very funny. I'm betting that there's some sort of "American Idol" drinking game, but I refuse to participate in this bit of popular culture, so I'm blissfully unaware if there is.

Happy Mother's Day! And truly; is there EVER sufficient bacon? I think not...

tristan said...

tch !

why was i looking to you for undeniable qualities of sober aestheticism and exemplary leadership ?

Ms Mac said...

Slobber..... bacon....

I hope you had a wonderful Mothers Day. We all deserve at least one day a year where we can eat bacon in bed without fear of recrimination!

hexe said...

Happy Mother's Day! Bacon is a great way to celebrate!

Dick said...

We drunk a bottle-and-a-half of wine and watched the other side. Quicker and decidedly more palatable on both fronts.

Rosie said...

Mrs Chili... well it was so light on the bacon that there wasnt any...we do live in France you know and it is a scarce commodity.
Tristan...yes , why? None of that is written on my tin.
Mrs Mac..is there real bacon in switzerland then? The French stuff is tissue paper or lardons so we dont usually bother.
Hexe...send me a care package
Dick...I hope you laughed as much as we did

Mike said...

Happy European Mothers Day!

I can totally understand why you didn't go through with the audition, although I would love it if you had because that would mean that there would be tapes somewhere and we could beg you to show them.

There aren't any tapes anywhere are there?

Rosie said...

I hope there arent any tapes Mike. It was an era when video had barely been invented so I am probably safe...but for God's sake keep quiet if you do find one.
At the time there was a soap opera on English television called Coronation Street (still going), and the stylist make me look like a very tarty barmaid called Bett Lynch in the series . (An enormous 2 foot tall beehive backcombed hairdo) shudder shudder...
Actually, knowing you, I am more worried about the photos I did for men only when I was 17 years old!

katydidnot said...

sounds like a brilliant game.

meggie said...

OMG! We used to play games like that, to different beats, when I was 30 something. They were enormous fun, but somewhat damaging to health I suppose.

As to the missing bacon... how did you manage to get any bacon???!!

Rosie said...

katydidnot and meggie, it was a brilliant game and I should have grown out of that sort of thing by now shouldn't I?
As to the great bacon mystery....
THERE WASNT ANY...as will be revealed when I eventually get the photo off the camera

Lucy said...

You didn't you didn't you didn't dress up as Bette Lynch. Did you?

That's the best account of the Eurovision I've ever heard, and the best way to get through it. We didn't even try, but maybe I'll come to yours next year...

Dr.John said...

When you sober up was the Russian really that good?

Ms Mac said...

Not real, proper bacon but we make do. Sometimes we just buy a big slab of it and cut it ourselves instead of buying the paper-thin stuff.

I miss good, old, Aussie bacon.