Sunday, February 24, 2008

Happy homecoming, with a small element of vomiting

Oh it is good to be home!
And what did the children have in store for me? Well the dog was not painted blue and the house had not burned down. But they hit me in my weakest spot:

No Internet…

When I arrived there was a faint odour of vomit on the staircase, but at least attempts had been made to remove it. But no Internet…

The dog was not blue, but was off her food. I concluded that this must be related to the faint odour of vomit. This was confirmed when I was informed that vomiting had also taken place outside, of which there was now no trace. Porridge had cleaned up for me…

Still no Internet…

I phoned Orange helpline, and paid 0,34 euros per minute to be insulted by someone with a foreign accent (not French) for not speaking French with a good enough accent, who then slammed the phone down on me safe in the knowledge that he could not be traced, after I told him that I could not believe that someone could work for service clientele and be so very rude…(I ascertained that he was likely to remain anonymous with my next phone call to Orange, taken by a charming woman who said that I could have arrived at any call centre before and it certainly wasn’t hers and we would not know which one it was unless the rude bastard had opened a file, which is pretty unlikely isn’t it?)

This charming woman, who was as nice as the other was nasty, then proceeded to make lots of checks on my line, which she said was very noisy, and this was causing the problems because the server could not recognise my number and password. Mmmm noise…..
There must have been a leak during the teenage party and noise had escaped into the telephone system. Was it the sound of retching or simply heavy post modern metal music?
I knew it had to be their fault.
I continued trying to join the cyberworld at intervals throughout the day and finally in the early hours the universe became quiet enough for my little voice to be heard. Tomorrow, a technician is coming to check our line for noise. I will not tell them that I have managed to log on, noise and all. If you can’t get proper revenge, something small and petty will have to do…I feel better already.

Ps.I will tell you about my trip to London next time. I am too emotionally drained for now...

4 comments:

Lucy said...

Welcome home!

Lucy said...

... glad to observe that your offspring are doing their bit to introduce the best of British culture to the local youth.

one small fish said...

Frankly Lucy I think ours have been learning things from the locals. Can`t imagine them inheriting our youthful endeavours
???!!!

amy said...

Glad the house was still standing and that you got your internet back - looking forward to hearing about your trip!