Monday, January 7, 2008

There's no business like show business

I drove rather a long way today, to meet a very nice harmonica player who wanted me to sing with him. We then went to meet the manager of a hotel specialising in Thalassotherapy, who is organising a jazz festival in order to attract clients to her hotel and entertain those already enjoying whatever it is that they do there. It seems to involve sea water and algae and I suspect that bottoms might be targeted, but perhaps that is colonic lavage, and something different.

The manager was quite charming and went into considerable detail about the large number of acts that she was booking for this year, and how well it had gone last year, and how they were closing in September for five months in order to upgrade it to a 4 star hotel. Good I thought, sounds like they have a few bob to invest, and so they will be able to remunerate their artists appropriately. Imagine my surprise when she announced that the method of payment would be “échange de marchandises ” – that we would be paid in kind, because she did not actually have a budget for the festival. We would be offered some of the services available at the hotel.

This would mean that I would drive a long way, sing for an evening and not get paid, and then, someone would do something to me with cold sea water and seaweed, perhaps involving my most intimate downstairs bits. I said I would give it some thought…
And I did, on the long drive home again (35 euros of petrol!)

I imagined going to the supermarket and offering them a quick chorus of “Lady is a Tramp” in exchange for a baguette and a tin of cat food. I think I know what they would say, and where they would tell me to put the baguette (but only after I had paid them good euros for it, of course).

On the other hand, does anyone know what Thalassotherapy actually is? I googled it and found lots of places offering it, but all rather coy about what they actually do.
Perhaps I am missing out on something good.

4 comments:

Freya said...

Nothing to do with colonic irrigation, more to do with mud packs, steam baths, jaccuzzis, massages, etc.

Rather nice, but obviously not the way to remunerate musicians.

Lesley said...

I had thalasso in Arcachon once. It involved a lot of lying around in baths and, most memorably, standing at the end of a cold room while a woman aimed a power hose at me.

Lucy said...

I went along with my gym class to one in St Malo. We only did the wooshy warm salty bath bit which is the cheap end of the range, enjoyable enough. Other people in white towelling robes seemed to be drifting about in a kind of sunlit atrium waiting for the mud, or whatever. I was quite intrigued, but reading Lesley's account I'm not too sure... You could ask for a voucher and auction it?

What's it to be, lunch or the beach?

Rosie said...

mmm I think I'll pass on that.
I like lying around in baths alright, but the power hose and cold room sound rather masochistic.
And I am still worried about where they put the seaweed.